I am currently in the middle of Round 7 of my 12 chemo treatments. I am starting to fantasize about life after chemo. I don't know what will happen at that point. I may not be done with it all and even if I am I still have a big surgery in the pipeline. Regardless, I am just going to look forward to the end of chemo. I don't like chemo. The fatigue and nausea were worst this round and seem to be lingering a little longer. I'm still doing pretty well over all but I don't if I mentioned that I really don't like chemo. I recognize that it may be the difference between a long normal life and a lot of suffering but I can still hate chemo.
On a more positive note I love colonoscopies! Okay that statement is not exactly true. The preparation is no fun but I swear it's a lot better than chemo. Did I mention chemo and how I do not care for it? Anyway, I had my first full colonoscopy two weeks ago and the rest of my colon is clean as a whistle. This is great news and very relieving to know I only have to fight one spot. I've had to resist the urge to tell strangers on the street just how clean my colon is.
Life is moving forward quickly as usual. The kids are back in school. Cale has started high school. Maya and Aden are traversing the perils of middle school. So far all is going well. Carrie has gone back to work and is close to full time hours. It really means so much to us that everyone is willing to help with meals and help with my treatment transport during our busy times.
I've said it before but I'll say it again. The support I have received during this time has been amazing. My family, my friends, strangers, doctors, nurses have all been kind, generous and instrumental in making the process a lot easier. Yes I hate the chemo and I can't wait to be done but I will never forgot all that has been done for us this year. Thanks all.
Monday, August 28, 2017
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
Hospital Stay #1
My only previous brush with an emergency room was when I was 15 years old. I was playing goalie in a soccer game and got my pinky head butted into a direction no finger should ever point. I had long hair at the time and I remember the nurse initially thought I was a girl. This time around I had planned ahead with years of short hair. This time there would be no mistaken genders.
I always hear horror stories of people waiting in ER waiting rooms for hours. I guess I got lucky b/c I was the only one in the waiting area and was called back within a few minutes. I changed into a gown and asked about my pain level. I said it was mild and that I did not require any drugs at the time. A nurse inserted a needle for a future IV. I talked to a PA about my blood tests, my achy stomach and my testicular discomfort. Did I mention this is where the real adventure begins?
Shortly after the PA left a man around my age came in with an ultrasound machine and proceeded to use the magic ultrasound wand to image my you know where. I was playing a mental game of trying not to make awkward eye contact during the procedure. I think he was playing too.
Next came the CT scan. The interesting fact about a CT scan is the imaging fluid they put in you makes you feel like you wet your pants. They warn you this will occur. They warn you at least 10 times but still you can't help to touch your crotch a few times just to make sure you weren't the one person that actually did pee their pants. After the scan I went back to my ER room. At this point I refused to be carted around on a bed so I just walked. I really didn't feel terrible.
The PA soon came and told me I would be staying at least a few nights in the hospital. She mentioned the possibility of needing surgery. Then a surgeon came and his viewpoint was less extreme. He said a should go on IV antibiotics and be monitored for a few days. With that I was hooked up to the antibiotics and taken upstairs to the surgery ward.
In my room I had a more cushy bed. After the initial shock of a required hospital stay wore off the idea of some mandatory rest started to seem okay. I had a TV. I had my phone. Carrie brought me the kindle and a book. I was at the time immersed in the TV series Mr. Robot. This was my chance for some binging Nurses came and went to check my vitals and make sure I okay. Occasionally my IV would be changed.
There were however some negatives. Every evening for 3 days straight I had to get a shot in my stomach to prevent blood clots. This particular shot remains the least favorite needle prickings of my life to date. I also was on a clear liquid diet. This meant apple juice, jello and broth. The apple juice was good. The jello was generic and a little reminiscent of plastic flavor. The beef broth was just awful. Sorry Poudre Valley Hospital but your beef broth truly is the worst. Little did I know how these negatives would compare with my future experiences.
So I watched TV shows, movies, and read. Carrie and the kids would come by at least a couple times a day. The time went by quick and my stomach was feeling much better. I was given regular food to test my intestinal fortitude and it went well. I was given a prescription for antibiotics to take at home. The doctors seemed fairly confident that I had diverticulitis and it would clear up. After my 3 night stay I was released and all seemed well.
I always hear horror stories of people waiting in ER waiting rooms for hours. I guess I got lucky b/c I was the only one in the waiting area and was called back within a few minutes. I changed into a gown and asked about my pain level. I said it was mild and that I did not require any drugs at the time. A nurse inserted a needle for a future IV. I talked to a PA about my blood tests, my achy stomach and my testicular discomfort. Did I mention this is where the real adventure begins?
Shortly after the PA left a man around my age came in with an ultrasound machine and proceeded to use the magic ultrasound wand to image my you know where. I was playing a mental game of trying not to make awkward eye contact during the procedure. I think he was playing too.
Next came the CT scan. The interesting fact about a CT scan is the imaging fluid they put in you makes you feel like you wet your pants. They warn you this will occur. They warn you at least 10 times but still you can't help to touch your crotch a few times just to make sure you weren't the one person that actually did pee their pants. After the scan I went back to my ER room. At this point I refused to be carted around on a bed so I just walked. I really didn't feel terrible.
The PA soon came and told me I would be staying at least a few nights in the hospital. She mentioned the possibility of needing surgery. Then a surgeon came and his viewpoint was less extreme. He said a should go on IV antibiotics and be monitored for a few days. With that I was hooked up to the antibiotics and taken upstairs to the surgery ward.
In my room I had a more cushy bed. After the initial shock of a required hospital stay wore off the idea of some mandatory rest started to seem okay. I had a TV. I had my phone. Carrie brought me the kindle and a book. I was at the time immersed in the TV series Mr. Robot. This was my chance for some binging Nurses came and went to check my vitals and make sure I okay. Occasionally my IV would be changed.
There were however some negatives. Every evening for 3 days straight I had to get a shot in my stomach to prevent blood clots. This particular shot remains the least favorite needle prickings of my life to date. I also was on a clear liquid diet. This meant apple juice, jello and broth. The apple juice was good. The jello was generic and a little reminiscent of plastic flavor. The beef broth was just awful. Sorry Poudre Valley Hospital but your beef broth truly is the worst. Little did I know how these negatives would compare with my future experiences.
So I watched TV shows, movies, and read. Carrie and the kids would come by at least a couple times a day. The time went by quick and my stomach was feeling much better. I was given regular food to test my intestinal fortitude and it went well. I was given a prescription for antibiotics to take at home. The doctors seemed fairly confident that I had diverticulitis and it would clear up. After my 3 night stay I was released and all seemed well.
Friday, August 11, 2017
Round 6
I am now halfway through my chemo treatments. It feels good but six more rounds seems like a lot.
Round 5 was almost a walk in the park. At the insistence of doctors and nurses I stayed on top of my anti-nausea meds and it worked. I had minimal issues other than the usual first few days of fatigue. Towards the end of the round my teeth and gums began to hurt. I also had a couple days of upper back pain. Those things may not be related to treatment but I question everything I feel nowadays. I did have high liver function at the start of Round 5 but luckily those numbers dropped after a week.
At the start of Round 6 my liver function was good but my platelets are dropping. This is normal for chemo but if they got too low I would need a blood transfusion. Low platelets means my blood won't clot quickly and I could bruise easier. Guess my knife juggling days are on hold for now. I am also now on an iron supplement to try and help the anemia I have had since before surgery. My anemic numbers are what sent me to the emergency room when this all started but they have not improved since. Next week I get my first ever full colonoscopy. Got to make sure the rest of my colon is clean as a whistle. Cross your fingers. To counter balance all the not so fun medical firsts I have experienced this year I have scheduled myself for some acupuncture in a few weeks. Might as well get a positive first this year.
Finally, thanks again to all that have continued to support us throughout the ordeal. Joni is out running this weekend to raise more funds to help us out. School starts in a couple weeks and life will be getting busier so I may be reaching out for some company at chemo or perhaps some prepared meals.
Round 5 was almost a walk in the park. At the insistence of doctors and nurses I stayed on top of my anti-nausea meds and it worked. I had minimal issues other than the usual first few days of fatigue. Towards the end of the round my teeth and gums began to hurt. I also had a couple days of upper back pain. Those things may not be related to treatment but I question everything I feel nowadays. I did have high liver function at the start of Round 5 but luckily those numbers dropped after a week.
At the start of Round 6 my liver function was good but my platelets are dropping. This is normal for chemo but if they got too low I would need a blood transfusion. Low platelets means my blood won't clot quickly and I could bruise easier. Guess my knife juggling days are on hold for now. I am also now on an iron supplement to try and help the anemia I have had since before surgery. My anemic numbers are what sent me to the emergency room when this all started but they have not improved since. Next week I get my first ever full colonoscopy. Got to make sure the rest of my colon is clean as a whistle. Cross your fingers. To counter balance all the not so fun medical firsts I have experienced this year I have scheduled myself for some acupuncture in a few weeks. Might as well get a positive first this year.
Finally, thanks again to all that have continued to support us throughout the ordeal. Joni is out running this weekend to raise more funds to help us out. School starts in a couple weeks and life will be getting busier so I may be reaching out for some company at chemo or perhaps some prepared meals.
Monday, August 7, 2017
Origin Story Part II
After my experience in July of 2015 (see part I of my origin story), it took about a month before I felt normal again. I couldn't run and sometimes I could only walk gingerly. I lost about 15 pounds from a lack of appetite. However, by the end of August I felt normal and the episode was becoming a distant memory. I was running again and continued to lose weight but was doing so because of exercise and diet. I ran my first race on Thanksgiving and by the following spring (2016) was running a couple of half marathons. I was having no lingering gut issues and was perhaps in the best shape of my life.
In the summer of 2016 we decided to sell our 50+ year old house and buy a new construction home. It was busy period of organizing, fixing random issues, yard sales, showings, and moving a lot of our stuff into a storage unit. I was in the process of training for my first trail half in September and my first full marathon in November. We sold our house quickly with relatively few issues. Our new home would not be ready until January of 2017 so we moved in with the in laws. We also took a family trip to Walt Disney World. While there I probably did the hardest training run of my life. I thought running a 20 miler at sea level in flat Florida would be easy but the humidity and heat really drained me. Even with all the stress, moving, travelling and running I felt good and healthy. In November I ran my first marathon. It was painful but an absolutely amazing and worthwhile experience.
January came and we moved into our new house. I was still running and signed up to run the Colfax Marathon in May. The move itself was exhausting and a lot of work. About 5 days after we moved in I went for a 6 mile run and felt fatigued. This wasn't normal running fatigue. This wasn't the fatigue I felt running through the swampy Florida heat. This wasn't the fatigue I felt as I slowly made my way through the final 6 miles of the marathon. This was different.
At first I chalked it up to exhaustion from the move plus all the accumulated impact running was having on me. In February I had a couple good weeks but never really felt normal. At the end of the month I was on another mid distance run on a very cold day. It was a struggle and the extreme fatigue was setting in again. When I got home I just lied on the floor in front of the fire but could not get warm. The next day I called out from work and missed a few more days over the next week. I was starting to have some gut pain similar to the summer of 2015. I was having chills and fevers By the end of March I was going to sleep at 7 pm every night and the stomach pain was getting worse. I developed pain in my testicles. Finally one day Carrie forced me to go see a doctor.
The doctor I saw seemed to know immediately that this wasn't a flu bug. She suggested diverticulitis. She examined about everywhere that you could exam and ruled out any testicular or prostate issues. She was uncertain but seemed concerned about me. Before I left I had blood drawn.
Later in the day when I was picking kids up from school I was surprised by a phone call from the doctor. "Jason I'm worried about you and want you to emergency room as soon as you can," she greeted me. Apparently I was anemic and had indications of internal bleeding. I dropped my kids off at home and told my wife I would be back in a couple hours. I then drove myself to the emergency room where the real adventure began.
In the summer of 2016 we decided to sell our 50+ year old house and buy a new construction home. It was busy period of organizing, fixing random issues, yard sales, showings, and moving a lot of our stuff into a storage unit. I was in the process of training for my first trail half in September and my first full marathon in November. We sold our house quickly with relatively few issues. Our new home would not be ready until January of 2017 so we moved in with the in laws. We also took a family trip to Walt Disney World. While there I probably did the hardest training run of my life. I thought running a 20 miler at sea level in flat Florida would be easy but the humidity and heat really drained me. Even with all the stress, moving, travelling and running I felt good and healthy. In November I ran my first marathon. It was painful but an absolutely amazing and worthwhile experience.
January came and we moved into our new house. I was still running and signed up to run the Colfax Marathon in May. The move itself was exhausting and a lot of work. About 5 days after we moved in I went for a 6 mile run and felt fatigued. This wasn't normal running fatigue. This wasn't the fatigue I felt running through the swampy Florida heat. This wasn't the fatigue I felt as I slowly made my way through the final 6 miles of the marathon. This was different.
At first I chalked it up to exhaustion from the move plus all the accumulated impact running was having on me. In February I had a couple good weeks but never really felt normal. At the end of the month I was on another mid distance run on a very cold day. It was a struggle and the extreme fatigue was setting in again. When I got home I just lied on the floor in front of the fire but could not get warm. The next day I called out from work and missed a few more days over the next week. I was starting to have some gut pain similar to the summer of 2015. I was having chills and fevers By the end of March I was going to sleep at 7 pm every night and the stomach pain was getting worse. I developed pain in my testicles. Finally one day Carrie forced me to go see a doctor.
The doctor I saw seemed to know immediately that this wasn't a flu bug. She suggested diverticulitis. She examined about everywhere that you could exam and ruled out any testicular or prostate issues. She was uncertain but seemed concerned about me. Before I left I had blood drawn.
Later in the day when I was picking kids up from school I was surprised by a phone call from the doctor. "Jason I'm worried about you and want you to emergency room as soon as you can," she greeted me. Apparently I was anemic and had indications of internal bleeding. I dropped my kids off at home and told my wife I would be back in a couple hours. I then drove myself to the emergency room where the real adventure began.
Friday, August 4, 2017
Origin Story Part I
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| It all started in the cancer causing fresh air of Yellowstone National Park |
Of course my cancer origin story has more details and actually goes back further. All the doctors I have talked to have seemed confident that my diet is not likely the culprit because of my age. Even if I only ever ate a terrible diet it's unlikely colon cancer would show up until my later years. Smoking is also a possible culprit but I don't smoke. Okay I admit when I turned 18 I purchased a pack of Marlboro Reds and smoked a couple but I gave the rest away to some very happy underclassmen. I did dabble a bit with weed in college but was always a casual user at best. That really leaves genetics but as most of you know my genetic testing came back with no abnormalities. Maybe I ate one really bad sausage or those were two really good cigarettes.
So I have no idea why I have cancer. I do however know when I first felt the beast inside of me. In July of 2015 we took a vacation to Yellowstone National Park. We saw all the standard tourists attractions and add the end of the trip spent a night in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. For dinner that night we ate at a local brewpub and had some ice cream in the town square afterwards. That night my stomach started to rumble but it didn't seem unusual. The next morning we hiked in Grand Tetons National Park before starting the drive back to Fort Collins. On the way out of town we grabbed McDonald's for lunch. I am mentioning the food I ate not because I believe it caused what would happen but it did likely enhance the experience.
Just south of Laramie, Wyoming, about an hour from home, I suddenly had very sharp pains in my gut. They were the most extreme discomfort I had ever experienced in terms of digestion. I pulled to the side of the highway and Carrie took over driving duties. The rest of the way home I was curled up in a ball on the passenger seat. When we got home I immediately lied down. The pain was intensifying and I was sweating from a fever.
My first thought was food poisoning given I had been eating out quite a bit. However, this episode involved no diarrhea and no vomiting. I certainly wanted one or the other to happen to relieve pressure but things were not working in that way. The pain would briefly flair up to an extreme level that still beats anything I felt over my more recent experiences. If I had known then what I know now I would have gone to emergency room. Maybe they would have done a scan. Maybe they would have removed my tumor (smaller at the time) and I wouldn't have had to do chemotherapy. I did end up going to the doctor for this episode but was told it was the flu. If only I really knew.
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